Grief....

It baffles me that I learned about a lot of crazy things in high school and college. Some things I understand and other things I felt were pointless. But the one topic that I feel should be taught in all schools and to know all the resources for how to deal with it is....Grief. Yes, I said it, grief. It is a word that goes unheard of and very much rears its ugly head each day, every hour, and every minute for all human beings on Earth. High school and college never prepared me for this one!

Who would think you would get prepared for grief? No one because you never expect it to happen to you. In my opinion, when defining grief, I believe its meaning circles around feeling the physical, mental, and emotional pain from a loss that abruptly happens that stills your current or past joy with a particular routine. Now, the real definition of grief is: deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death (Oxford Languages). Both definitions signify a death of someone, but never talk about how we can experience grief in other places. You can experience grief through the death of a: romantic relationship, a friendship, an ending to a career, losing a home, financial hardship, loss of identity, etc. Grief pops up and shows out in more ways than one when it comes to the sudden ending of things and people that were significant to us. This is how you know, whatever it is, there was value there.

When I think about what was valuable to me that I had to grieve over, it was a laundry list of things. I grieved over the murder of one of my friends. I grieved the death of 3 friendships that were important to me that ended. And my most recent experience has been the death of my uncle in 2020. Grief will have you in a stand still with life, wondering if there is reason to continue on. You can break out into crying spells in random places throughout your day. And it is so important how you manage your grief, especially within the first year.

It is important to handle ourselves with care and patience when it comes to grief. I was never patient with myself because I don’t like feeling physical pain from a loss. However, I kept ignoring my pain as well. Some people may be just like me and not want to deal with their grief but learn to keep moving. Others…. Their grief can get the best of them. The best example of this, the show Hoarders (which if you know me, then you know this is one of my favorite shows of all time)! Yes, Hoarders television show displays the dynamic parts of how human beings hurt from all angles (majorly relationships) and how they deal with grief and pain. Many people hoard in order to hide their pain or protect themselves along with holding onto to memories of happy times so then they don't have to handle the loss of the present. Every character’s story was so relatable to the point that I was locked in to every episode. But this is a great example of how people improperly handle grief and it then hurts others who love you.

No matter where you are in your life, at some point or another, you will experience grief. It may happen when you are in your early 20s or in your mid 50s. But it is an experience that no one can prevent from happening. And when it happens, knowing what resources are out there for you is important. Therapy, counseling, spiritual leaders and groups are all resources that help with grief. Also, having a good circle of friends who will help you during your time is also essential. Giving your self time to feel your emotions and understand what is going on is also key to handling grief properly. And when you feel that you are by yourself and you are questioning everything, always remember that there are people who love you and who care about how you feel and the fact that you are hurting, and that the death of something has caused you deep sorrow! Honor yourself that you are taking time to heal and understanding what has happened and taking the proper steps to move forward. Healing takes time and being in the stage of grief is a process. Don't rush it but don't allow it to take over and consume you forever. As grief can have a way of knocking you off of your track.

Stay on your path and know that others are here to support you and love on you. You will always matter, however, tragedies have a way of hitting you at some of the weirdest times. That's why spreading love is so essential. Being kind is so important. Speaking with love and in truth is major. Being a listening ear is prime during this time period. For all these things will help for everyone when they are in their time of grief.

Sending all my love to everyone who has been going through it.

Love,

Chevy