Matters of the Beat

When I was younger, I never understood why I didn't like being around certain people or entertaining them. Thought of multitude of reasons: 1. attitude (nope) 2. different interest (nope) 3. different backgrounds (nope) 4. I like regular cheese pizza and they love olives on pizza LOL (NOPE). It wasn't until I became an adult into my late twenties, that I was made aware of the issue... MATTERS OF THE HEART! Yep, that's it. Matters of the heart. It seems so simple, but it is such a foreign concept because in today's society we don't really take time to expose what is bothering the one organ that keeps us flowing.

The heart is a major organ that we should cater to daily. Some people take care of it health wise by working out 1-4 times a week. Others would just visit the doctor twice a year and call it a day. However you decide to take care of your heart physically is up to you, but what about emotionally? I ask this question because some of us are unaware that our hearts carry a lot of emotions, burdens (envy, pride, pain, comparisons, doubt, hatred, racism, disrespect, etc.) that we display in our every day lives. How do we display them? Our actions and words! Whatever you carry in your heart is displayed through your actions and words. And I can say, I have experienced the receiving end of it first hand as a child and as an adult. Also, as adults, we must hold ourselves accountable. So, I must say I also have displayed what has plagued my heart through actions and words. Some things I did and said were not nice, and I am more aware of it now than ever before.

I came to this realization at the beginning of Lent this year. Man, my heart was a mess. I carried pain, anger, jealousy, comparison, and depression all in my heart at the same time. Some things I also never got to process from the past year like: my uncle's death, the loss of my apartment, my financial struggles, and having to start all over again. I ultimately started saying things and acting out in ways I would have never before. It wasn't until during Lent 2021 that I had to pull back from friends, family, and social media that made me: focus on myself, really open my heart to God for correction, pour out everything to Him, and really start to acknowledge and love who I am and everything I bring to the table. And it was the honesty of what I was wrestling with that allowed the healing to begin. I was eventually able to apologize to friends/family, go to therapy, and come back to the people who love and care for me, and I felt better. Now, I operate in a different mindset where I am more aware of how my actions are a reflection of my heart. I'm not perfect, and I still make mistakes but I am striving for growth.

When we see how other people treat each other in society, it is a direct reflection of what is going on in the heart. Social media is one of the biggest mirrors that displays many things in the heart both, good and bad. And as society continues to transition each and every year and generation, the issues of the heart are displayed on a wider scale within social interactions and social media post. But unlike when I was a child, instead of immediately dismissing these people, I instead pray for them and choose to shine some love on them, when my heart is in a loving place. And that requires growth and a lot of patience. Where did I learn this from...my job! As a barista, I have had very few customers who are genuinely sweet and have great spirits, which is a direct reflection of their heart. They don't know it, but they inspire me just to be a little better each day. They were shining their light in a dark place.

Your heart is important to take care of: physically and emotionally. Your actions/words are a direct reflection of what you feel in your heart. And just know, it's never too late to do a heart check, talk to God, apologize to friends, family, associates, strangers, apologize to yourself, and take the necessary steps to heal. Every little step counts and that leads to a stronger, more loving heart.

Sincerely,

Your good sis :)